If you’re out there searching for The One, or the next one, you’re going to be subjected to a lot of first dates. Whether it’s a random from Tinder (or one of the other billion dating apps/websites), or someone you met in line at the grocery store, they could be the love of your life. Or an axe murderer.
According to the American Psychology Association, in Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by the age of 50. About 40 to 50 percent of those marriages will end in divorce. Furthermore, the National Center for Health Statistics reports that 60 percent of marriages for couples between the ages of 20 and 25 end in divorce.
No matter how promising the initial conversation, there’s a pretty high probability that you’ll end up with someone who makes you want to eat your own hair. So, if you’re minutes into a first date with someone who you absolutely can’t stand – or just isn’t your type – and you’re looking for a way out, here are some suggestions:
Bring up your eclectic taxidermy collection in the first five minutes, rather than waiting the appropriate three dates.
It’s important to share the best parts of your life, but this, much like politics and religion, can wait.
Start every sentence with “as a taxpayer, I think…”
Perfect for the aforementioned politics conversation, but can also be applied to every other subject.
Make sure to be swiping through Tinder throughout the entirety of the date.
Even if you don’t have an account, make one. Make one while you’re on the date. If they don’t pick up what you’re laying down, show them and ask them if they think the person you’re considering is attractive.
Mention that you just finished an introductory psychology class and offer to psycho-analyze your date. If they say no, tell them they have “trust issues.”
Make sure you add the air quotes. However, if they say yes, this could be the most fun part of your date.
Tell your date that you’re living with your ex-significant other.
The key is to be really vague about your relationship status in order to give them reasonable doubt that you are not actually available.
Straight up tell your date that you’re a jerk. People have a tendency to be honest when they’re talking about themselves.
If it doesn’t work out, at least this way you gave them a fair warning.
“If they’re a negative person all around, and they’re not nice in general, I don’t think there’s going to be a second date,” Nicholas Fortner, SFCC student.
If all else fails, at the end of the date, tell them you’re falling in love with them.
It’s cute to tell everyone at your wedding how you fell in love at first sight. It’s creepy to do it twenty minutes after you meet someone.
Or, this might be totally crazy, just be honest with them.
No matter what you do, there will always be someone out there who will try to make it work. Telling someone the truth seems to be the most difficult thing to do, and it hurts the most at first, but it’s absolutely the most effective.